Perspective

In one of my previous posts I mentioned our crazy neighbor. I can honestly say that the situation with her has caused us lots of grief in the past week or so. She made Tyler and I so mad. We have every right to be angry with her but there comes a point where being angry doesn't get you anywhere. So I decided to start praying for her. I really felt God speak to me and say "what right do you have to think you're better than this woman?" Pain and suffering is something that happens in all our lives, we just don't all deal with it in the same way. Thankfully I don't have a drinking problem but I have kicked a hole in our living room wall, screamed, quit eating and felt like I was literally going to die. I never thought I was capable of being so angry, so mean, so spiteful. But these are just the surface emotions for the deep, deep hurt I experienced. Thinking about it makes me hurt inside a little. But thinking about the hurt that Jan must be experiencing hurts more. How much more does the Father grieve for us when we're hurting? I can't imagine.

Yesterday Jan apologized to Tyler and told him that she would be moving away. I'm not relieved. I'm actually sad that I allowed myself to get so worked up over the whole thing. A nice slap in the face, actually. I'm a selfish brat who daily needs Jesus to save me from myself.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me your perspective today. Amen.