I could never make this stuff up!

Kayley and I were playing. She was the doctor, I was the patient. Here's how it went:

Kayley: "What's your name?"

Me: "Bob"

Kayley: "Ok, B O O B"

Me: "Wow Kayley, that's some inventive spelling."

Kayley: "And what's your last name?"

Me: "Batten."

Kayley: "Ok, B A T T E N"

Me: "Right, great job."

Kayley: "Look, I wrote your name!"

BOOB BATTEN

Me: "HAHAHAHAHA!"

I really didn't say anything about it, just cracked up. Could you keep a straight face? I think not!

Mr. Clean

I was reading MckMama's latest blog entry today and, sadly, this paragraph really described me at one time or another and it really hit home. Check it yo.

"But when I am off, believe me, I am off. In the darkness of private disagreements I'd much rather forget than blog about*, I have sworn like a sailor at my beloved. At my worst, I can be pompous and self righteous, a know-it-all who would rather shove what I think to be right down my husband's throat than listen with an open ear to his side. I can be rude and condescending, unwilling to be the first to repent and to forgive my spouse. There have been times when, should my husband have decided to do so, he would have had every justification to call the cops on me for harassing him. There are times when things haven't been pretty between us. And I am going to share today some of the things I have learned through living in the trenches like my husband and I have."

While I'm not going to share the things I've learned, I would like to point out something. You might have heard me say something like this a time or two before but I won't stop saying it because it will never stop being true. Sometimes I can be the scum of the universe and yet God comes along bringing His his Scrubbing Bubbles, Comet, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and giant scrubbie and makes me new again. If I were Him I'd be sick and tired of cleaning up my scummy mess. My God is truly amazing.

Not Me! Monday

It's Not Me! time. Head over to MckMama's blog to see the crazy things she didn't do this week.

I'm definitely not consuming a giant piece of rainbow cake as I'm typing.

Kayley told me today that Cole wakes her up in the middle of the night and tells her to be bad guys for Halloween. I did not give her a "yeah right" look and then say "I'm sorry."

Becca came over on Friday for lunch and we chatted. It was great. I most certainly do not always think of Cinnabon when I think of Becca and think of Becca when I think of Cinnabon. It would be just plain pathetic if I did!

I never thought I would enjoy fall break this much but I looove having Kayley home. I did not have to place a mandatory don't talk for 15 minutes rule because I was going to ring the neck of my darling daughter! Not me!

During the weekend Tyler left his wallet at the base so I had to go get it today. The times I have gone there have not been the most uncomfortable, partially humiliating times of my life. So naturally I was ecstatic to go run this errand. I'm not conceited, nor do I think I'm the best looking gal on the block but those men sure do stare. I'd like to think my facial beauty was what caused the prolonged glances but we all know it lies beneath the neckline.

The Marine Corps Birthday Ball is coming up in a few weeks. Since I never went to prom I'm not so very excited that I get to get all fancy. I'm sure it will be a good time. I tried on a dress from Erin yesterday and it's pretty, but boy does it accentuate everything I've got going wrong, including the three new scars on my back from the surgeries. So that one won't work. If only I could find a dress that works with me instead of against me!

Mrs. Kaudse did not tell me that McKenna (one of the girls at the preschool) asked her if Mrs. Batman was coming back to the school. Ha!

I'm so not happy that other parents were able to go on the fire station field trip and get pictures of Kayley!

Kayley's class (and the Kindergartners in Charisse's too, I think)

That's Mel snapping a shot of Kayley with her phone. She was so nice to send me a few pictures while they were there!

I put this one in because they got a call at the end and Kayley was so excited that she got to see them leave!

Rainbow Cake

My version of the Rainbow Cake really puts the original to shame. I don't know what happened but the frosting wouldn't go on smooth, it just got all mixed up in the crumbly cake. I have to admit I actually cried when it didn't turn out great. I was having a bad day, okay? Anyway, it's still pretty inside and tastes like a dream come true. To me, that's all that matters now.


In case you haven't noticed (and as Kayley pointed out) it is not in true rainbow color order.

Don't you wish you could have a taste of my fabulously ugly cake? :)

Ten On Tuesday Two Days Late

1. Is it disturbing that I want to go up on the roof and throw the roofers off so the banging will stop and my kids will sleep?

2. Cole's friend gave him a wet willy at school yesterday. He was so disgusted, it was awesome.

3. I'm done subbing for the week. I'm so tired and my body just wants to sleep. I don't recommend having surgery and not resting for another five days. It does not work out well.

4. Tyler got called in to drill for the Marines today and tomorrow. I'm so annoyed because they gave him one day notice and he has been gone two nights this week and I've been gone one. I feel like we haven't seen each other at all! He will also be getting paid half of a normal days pay so that's just refreshing. Bleh. Oh, but I do love that man in his uniform. My my.

5. My grandma Eve is not doing well. Almost every week she has had dizzy spells and they can't ever find anything wrong with her. If you get a sec, please say a prayer for her and my grandpa. It's really taking a toll on him, too.

6. I really want a Cinnabon. And my buns don't taste anything like cinnamon! (haha, Kim and Hil)

7. At school on Tuesday I almost threw up while comforting a little girl who was throwing up. Yuck, it's NOT the same when you care for your own kids when they are sick. Poor kid though.

8. How can people stuff mushrooms and call that genuine food? (I just can't get over that, Ash!)

9. I really wish I had something else to do today so my kids wouldn't bicker. Maybe we'll go to the park. I miss my husband.

10. I thank God that even if I feel like crap (and I do) He helps me drag my sorry butt along and gives me strength. I just had a mental picture of our old dog dragging his butt across the floor. Gross.

Cole just had his no nap in two days breakdown. Oh boy.

Summer Flashback

I came across these on my mom's computer. We had so much fun that day!

Too bad summer has come and gone.

At least we have the holidays to compensate for the loss!

Not Me! Monday

It's a new week filled with many more things MckMama and others didn't do.

I must admit I totally do not enjoy days where I have little to no responsibility and am commanded to stay in bed and do nothing. I probably should not even be online right now but what's the harm in a little bloggin' before a nap?

The surgery went well. They definitely did not make me take a prego test before because I told them that I skipped three pills this month and my cycle is waaay off. It's a good thing they tested because we thought we were going to have ourselves a little anniversary gift (I did not forget my pills on our trip. I would never be that irresponsible!). I was asleep when they removed the little guy on my chest but when they turned me over to do the back I woke up and stayed awake the entire rest of the time! Oh the conversation those people had whilst slicing me open. Geez. The anesthesiologist went through my chart and realized that he gave me my epidural when I had Kayley in 2004. Crazy huh?

After they wheeled me into recovery I definitely did not have to go potty in a bed pan. And most of the pee did not make it's way onto the bed instead of into the pan. That would just be disgusting! Good thing it didn't happen.

So I'm in bed now and I'm not feeling worse by the minute. I think the numbing stuff is wearing off and I'm starting to feel some pain. Anywho, I'm glad it's over and let's pray I don't have to do this again!

I don't have much else to yack about on this Monday but I do have a little ditty about Cole. I was carrying him in the house the other day and he did not put his hand on my chest and said "mommy, you're hot!" We're talking looks here, not temp. I did not laugh out loud at my son who clearly got that from his dad. I mean, it's true and all, it's just that perhaps it's a little out of the ordinary for a son-to-mother comment. Then Cole smiled again and melted my heart and I gave him a big old hug. What a goof. I won't be letting him get away with the grabbage ever again though.

What crazy things did you not do this week?

Comfort & Frustration

In efforts to be more positive I will first write of something great that happened this week. I asked a friend for a favor and was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Thanks Krista for blessing our family!

This no job situation is really proving itself to be ugly. I'm not freaking out, I'm not. I filed for unemployment and now I'm waiting...and I'm frustrated.

(Sort of) Wordless Wednesday

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A parent of one of the kids in Kayley's class took these. My computer will let me post pictures that are already on here, I just can't upload new ones. So here's what they got of the water relay and the limbo. Please note the pictures of parents bottoms and random people who happen to be in all of these. Haha!

Not Me! Monday

There is no way I'm too lazy to seek out the new Not Me! button and add it to this post. And after realizing it didn't take much effort, I actually changed it.

I'm so not thankful it's a new week. Last week was so trying and I was so crabby and impatient. Thank goodness everyone is mostly well and happy campers.

I did not go to the gym swearing I would not weigh myself, weigh myself and then be surprised at my amazing two pound weight loss! It's amazing what I can lose when I actually try.

Kayley had Hooper (the class stuffed bear) last week. He's an Dodgers, Lakers and Chargers fan, reflective of Ms. Miller's favorite teams. Sadly, Hooper did not wake up in the middle of the night to view Kayley vomiting and then get tossed in the washer for a swim to disinfect. And I did not find crusty puke stuck to the inside top of the washer two days later. Lesson learned: don't put nasty laundry in when it's dark!

Here are a couple of shots my mom got of Kayley and Hooper.

I know these are small but my computer is so lame right now.

I'm so not excited for my trip to Ikea with Krista on Saturday!

I most definitely did not file for unemployment today. It wasn't that difficult and I should be eligible. Now to find a job...

I did not just realize that my surgery next Monday is also the first day of my period. And I have to be there at 6am. Joy.

Kayley came home today and told me she had to bring in a live spider this week for her class. She told me she was afraid because she had to catch it by herself. I did not tell her that's why we have daddies. They will no doubt catch the giant spider living under our neighbors stairs. It's so gross and hairy. What would I do without someone to do the hard jobs and spider catching. I love my husband!

I haven't done Not Me!'s in a while and to me it's just a bunch of boring italicized nots in a regular post. Should I keep doing them or give it up for good?

Wordless Wednesday

Ten On Tuesday

1. Our lappy has a virus. That's why I haven't really been on lately. It's lame. We're working on the problem but it's still going to be a while till it's up and running properly.

2. I'm sick. I had a 102 fever last night with chills, sweats and a cough. So even though I'm supposed to be subbing for Mama K this week at the preschool I didn't go in today. I'm hoping I'll be in tip top shape for tomorrow.

3. I observed the infant to age two classroom at the Patagonia childcare center yesterday. I love that age, love the classroom, love the teachers. I would totally work there if I could.

4. Kayley had her "Groove-a-thon" on Friday. She did so well running the first few laps on her own and Tyler did the rest with her. She did 12 laps! What a kid!

5. Tyler and I had a great time this weekend in Big Bear. We went mountain biking on Saturday. I fell off my bike twice on a downhill single track that was so rocky with powdery dirt. It was so hard! After that I finally got a hang of it and then some punk kid came bombing down the hill and didn't care to inform me what side he would pass me on and rammed right into me! I have four big bruises on my legs and one big scrape. There's nothing like a good set of battle wounds, ya know?

After conquering the mountain we went downtown to see The Informant with Matt Damon. We both liked it but it was not what I expected. Then we went out to a really nice dinner. I wore a red dress and ate filet mignot and sampled some of Tyler's lobster tail. Delicious. The rest of the weekend we relaxed and enjoyed being kid free. It was in the 40's on Sunday. So fallish!

6. Kayley has been asking me about drugs and why they're bad and what they do to your body. What is a mom to say to a five year old about these things?! I did the best I could at explaining things to her but drew the line at the request for me to describe what they look like.

7. I'm so sick and tired of the ants in my kitchen!!!

8. We are starting the process for Kayley to walk to class alone so on the days I'm rushed I can drop her and go. Today I stood at the top of the playground and watched her walk to class. When she got there I walked down with Cole and made sure she made it safe. We'll do that for a few days, then progress to the walking fully alone from the kindergarten drop off area. She made it clear that walking alone was not something she's comfortable with (her words) but I told her sometimes we have to do things that seem uncomfortable. And she did it!

9. Kayley went to the fire station today and Cole gets to go to the pumpkin patch on Friday!

10. I have a bunch of pictures from Big Bear and the jog-a-thon but I can't get them on here because of the computer situation. I will post them asap.