Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not run about the house frantically this week while Tyler chased after me holding a spider on its web. Not only did I not do that, I most definitely did not pick up Cole and hold him in front of me as a shield from the deadly creature. And I would never scream loudly and jump onto my bed, begging him to stop. It's just a little harmless creature after all.

Cole went to the bathroom and while perched upon the throne saw an ant scurry across the floor. He jumped off the potty with no regard to the issues going on behind him and plopped some poop on the floor. He grabbed some toilet paper and tried to kill the ant but dragged the paper into the poop instead. This is when he screamed for me. He didn’t care about the poop all over the floor; he just wanted the ant dead! I did not laugh hysterically and then go get the cleaner with bleach.

Katie says “paci” for pacifier but she says it with a lisp. So instead of pa-si it’s pa-thi. I did not repeatedly mock her for her speech this week. I would never do that to a child, especially since I know she can’t help it.

I will never again let my children sit, stand on or play on a treadmill. Those things are evil. Cole got an owie behind his ear from it too! How does that even happen? He spent the week asking me to please not touch the "goo" behind his ear. Once the goo dried up I most definitely did not try many times to pick his scab off. I don't love to pick and even if I did I would not try and remove Coleys' scab. I never did get it off.

So know you know the truth about the things I would not have done this week. See you next Monday!