Holy Cow

If I had no filter I would just release all the words I'm thinking and feeling all over this blog page. So in my attempt to move away from the emotions and enter back into normalcy, I must now scream via blog.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, I'm good now.


Are you sure you really want to follow my blog? Haha.

Private Bloggin'

Due to my current circumstances I thought it best to block my blog from certain folks who don't need to view the struggles and joys of my every day life right now. I'm sure after things settle I will change it back to public again.

Thanks to all of you for giving me your email addresses. I know that each of you have messaged or emailed me with your concerns and assurance of prayer covering. I'm so grateful for you!

A Good Day

After the kids and I ran errands and cleaned the garage today we hung out at Megan's. I love going there because the kids jump on the trampoline, watch movies and play and they don't argue (as much) and the environment is just so nice. Her friend was there with her four kids and they all got along really well! So it has been a good day, the first in a while.

And to top it off, Cole said this:

"Mommy, I'm not hungry for my toast because I need a nap."

I love my son.

It reminds me of when Kayley was three and she said:

"My little throat is hurting because I need a sucker."

Hurray for a good day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Regardless of the negatives in my life, I still have so much to be thankful for!

Here are a few (in no particular order):

My two awesome kids, a nice place to live, a super cute cell phone, a car to drive, food to eat, my parents, family, great old friends, fabulous new friends, brownies, the holiday season, health insurance (for the removal of my skin cancer!), my new church, my pants that fit loosely, my flip flops that I can wear year round, the beach where I often go to think, my comfy bed where my kids snuggle with me, my cute bike, my gym membership and my God who NEVER leaves me or forsakes me and who's love never fails even when man's love does.

I could go on and on.

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Here are a few more updates:

Yes, I will be talking about some of the things going on in my life so if you don't want to know, don't read my blog.

A family is moving in upstairs. It's just a mom, dad and a three month old baby. Thank goodness it's not a bunch of hooligans.

I met with the pastor's wife at Calvary yesterday. After our meeting she called me and said she has a friend who is a dentist and he's willing to pull my tooth for free! Yeah God! Yeah for not being in pain every single day anymore! My appointment is on Monday.

I don't know if I will make my blog private because I still want people to be able to read it without the hassle.

I weighed myself at the gym today and I've lost a total of 11 pounds bringing me to the exact weight I was when I found out I was pregnant with Kayley in 2003! Oh to be 18 again.

It's pretty amazing how my perspective changes when I think about what lies past all of the junk I'm going through. God has promised me some pretty amazing things and I know that He is faithful to complete what He started! God could do a pretty big restoration in my heart so I'm letting go to let God do his thing. And I'm a big control freak so this is a big deal for me! At least I admit it:)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, friends!

Free Will

God has given us free will. He lets us choose what we want to do with our lives. My heart is sad, angry and hurt but I know that my awesome and mighty Father still holds me in His hands.

Pray for my kids...they are so sad.

Pray for me...I have no words to explain how I feel.

After this post my blog will be private. If you still want to read it give me your email and I'll add you to the list.

Picture Time!

Ashley took these of our fam yesterday. I know I posted some on Facebook already but I wanted to post my favorites here.

Ten On Tuesday

1. In Kayley's class they earn star bucks for good behavior, helping out, etc. Today Kayley came home with a new toy. She had ten star bucks to spend and she came home with a new toy. It's Lightening McQueen and it's big. She might as well say "screw you, Cole. I know it's your favorite toy ever in the whole wild world but I don't care." Seriously, way to unintentionally open a giant can of worms Kayley!

2. The place above us has been empty for a long time but I still hear people banging around working in there. Seriously, is it THAT hard to rent out a place? Ridiculous.

3. I bought new pants on Sunday and they're a size smaller than what I normally buy.

4. I was praying with Kayley before nap today and after I was done she breathed a heavy sigh and said "finally!" I think I have bad breath.

5. Kayley's parent conference is this week or next. I'm excited to see how she has been doing in class.

6. Today we went to the Oxnard Beach Park. The kids call it the brown pirate park because it has two pirate ships and everything is brown. They had a great time and Cole said he got all his training exercises done. Whatever that means, Special Agent Oso.

7. We went to dinner at a friends' house last night. Cole was watching Lilo and Stitch and fell asleep in the middle of the floor. Since he hasn't been napping he crashes out in random places these days.

8. Kayley was almost tardy today for the first time ever.

9. I constantly feel like I have to throw up.

10. I love Kari Jobe. One of her songs say this:

"I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me, I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness."