Thursday, December 25, 2014
Today was so perfect: my pain was low, I had snuggles with my best guy, surprises for the kids, time spent talking, laughing and playing games with family, watching Christmas movies and eating gourmet corn dogs, tucking happy kids into bed and finishing off the day quietly reading in a room lit by Christmas lights.
My emotions are high as a kite; I'm filled with peace, love, thankfulness and joy. It won't last forever but I'll take it while I can get it.
Merry, Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 21, 2014
2014 In Review
Wowzers. Where do I start?
2014 was the year I spent all summer with Kayley and Cole!
It wasn't without its challenges but I got to spend so much time with them I really felt connected to them in a way I hadn't felt since going back to work almost five years ago! Beach days, skate park days, pool days and regular park days were the best way for me to rest and keep the kids busy at the same time. I'm continuously thankful that they are old enough to look after themselves in most ways. If I had a little one I'm certain that I might die. Haha. When school started I began to feel better and I started volunteering in Cole's classroom an hour a week, which is really something I enjoy. I truly believe Cole is thriving better this year because he has matured, but also because I've been around to work on his behavior at school and home.
2014 was the year I gained two in-laws!
Welcome to the family Bailie Dawson and Tommy Heinsman! I couldn't be more thrilled for Tim and Joanna for picking a couple of awesome partners who bring them much happiness!
2014 was the year I spent all summer with Kayley and Cole!
It wasn't without its challenges but I got to spend so much time with them I really felt connected to them in a way I hadn't felt since going back to work almost five years ago! Beach days, skate park days, pool days and regular park days were the best way for me to rest and keep the kids busy at the same time. I'm continuously thankful that they are old enough to look after themselves in most ways. If I had a little one I'm certain that I might die. Haha. When school started I began to feel better and I started volunteering in Cole's classroom an hour a week, which is really something I enjoy. I truly believe Cole is thriving better this year because he has matured, but also because I've been around to work on his behavior at school and home.
2014 was the year I gained two in-laws!
Welcome to the family Bailie Dawson and Tommy Heinsman! I couldn't be more thrilled for Tim and Joanna for picking a couple of awesome partners who bring them much happiness!
2014 was the year I began to focus on me.
I guess I didn't really have a choice. I never thought I'd ever been in so much pain. I really took my health for granted before these last couple years. And my perspective has totally shifted when it comes to other people's pain as well because 8 months post surgery I'm still in pain, making this struggle a more long term one. In fact, I'm writing this at 2am because I'm in too much discomfort to sleep. Surgery was worth it to relieve my disc herniation nerve pinch and bone that was causing leg pain but I have some pretty tough nerve damage causing severe pain in my back still. I recently saw a pain management doctor who gave me a numbing shot in my leg and a hefty dose of steroid anti-inflammatories so I'm crossing my fingers I'll have some relief by Christmas.
2014 was a challenge with my job.
Anytime something in your life blows up there's usually something that takes a backseat. Physically I spent six months away from work recovering from surgery but the rest of the year I've spent most of the time absent emotionally from my job. Does the phrase "I give zero shits" ring a bell? I'm not saying this is right, but this is how I let myself become. Absorbed by pain, absent from work in my brain. Needless to say, I've been impatient with people I previously spent a lot of my energy trying hard to remain patient with. It has taken me a while to realize my attitude has consumed me but now that I realize it I'm ready for a change. My office paid a hefty price for a new office chair, a desk that moves up and down so I can work standing or sitting and a swivel stool that helps keep my feet up while I sit. They have also been very flexible with me and my schedule and very supportive of my recovery! These are such great things and I truly am thankful.
2014 was the year I learned that He is still good even if the answer is "no" or "not right now."
I have been pretty open about my struggle to remain consistent in my Bible studies on this blog. This year I have had more time to allow my studying to become a good habit. It also helps that She Reads Truth makes amazing and beautiful studies that make me want to soak up the Word! Recently i had one of those aha moments where it really hit me: If not, He is still good. If God doesn't choose to heal me now or next week or ever, He is still good! This has been a tough thing to digest. Because I want to yell at God all the cuss words and ask him why me, why the suffering?! Why the pain?! Don't you know what I've been through God?! But in all my changes, He remains the same. He never stopped being good to me. He is still the same God I put my faith and trust in when things were good. And how cool is that, guys, to have a constant in this ever changing world of ours?
2014, I'm ready for you to take a hike.
But before you go I gotta shout out to my wonderfully handsome hubs who has supported me this year and always, my dad who took the kids to school almost every day in May and June and who is the most encouraging person I know and to my wonderful mommy who spent every day she could at my house for six weeks doing laundry, cleaning and cooking for our family. Also, here's a shout out to my friends, work friends and family who have been so supportive of me, listening to me and encouraging me! You all mean more to me than you know!
Bring it on 2015!
Tyler graduates in March with his bachelors degree in project management and Kayley will start middle school (eeek!). I know it'll be a good year, regardless of what happens, because God is still good!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from The Batten Family!
I guess I didn't really have a choice. I never thought I'd ever been in so much pain. I really took my health for granted before these last couple years. And my perspective has totally shifted when it comes to other people's pain as well because 8 months post surgery I'm still in pain, making this struggle a more long term one. In fact, I'm writing this at 2am because I'm in too much discomfort to sleep. Surgery was worth it to relieve my disc herniation nerve pinch and bone that was causing leg pain but I have some pretty tough nerve damage causing severe pain in my back still. I recently saw a pain management doctor who gave me a numbing shot in my leg and a hefty dose of steroid anti-inflammatories so I'm crossing my fingers I'll have some relief by Christmas.
2014 was a challenge with my job.
Anytime something in your life blows up there's usually something that takes a backseat. Physically I spent six months away from work recovering from surgery but the rest of the year I've spent most of the time absent emotionally from my job. Does the phrase "I give zero shits" ring a bell? I'm not saying this is right, but this is how I let myself become. Absorbed by pain, absent from work in my brain. Needless to say, I've been impatient with people I previously spent a lot of my energy trying hard to remain patient with. It has taken me a while to realize my attitude has consumed me but now that I realize it I'm ready for a change. My office paid a hefty price for a new office chair, a desk that moves up and down so I can work standing or sitting and a swivel stool that helps keep my feet up while I sit. They have also been very flexible with me and my schedule and very supportive of my recovery! These are such great things and I truly am thankful.
2014 was the year I learned that He is still good even if the answer is "no" or "not right now."
I have been pretty open about my struggle to remain consistent in my Bible studies on this blog. This year I have had more time to allow my studying to become a good habit. It also helps that She Reads Truth makes amazing and beautiful studies that make me want to soak up the Word! Recently i had one of those aha moments where it really hit me: If not, He is still good. If God doesn't choose to heal me now or next week or ever, He is still good! This has been a tough thing to digest. Because I want to yell at God all the cuss words and ask him why me, why the suffering?! Why the pain?! Don't you know what I've been through God?! But in all my changes, He remains the same. He never stopped being good to me. He is still the same God I put my faith and trust in when things were good. And how cool is that, guys, to have a constant in this ever changing world of ours?
2014, I'm ready for you to take a hike.
But before you go I gotta shout out to my wonderfully handsome hubs who has supported me this year and always, my dad who took the kids to school almost every day in May and June and who is the most encouraging person I know and to my wonderful mommy who spent every day she could at my house for six weeks doing laundry, cleaning and cooking for our family. Also, here's a shout out to my friends, work friends and family who have been so supportive of me, listening to me and encouraging me! You all mean more to me than you know!
Bring it on 2015!
Tyler graduates in March with his bachelors degree in project management and Kayley will start middle school (eeek!). I know it'll be a good year, regardless of what happens, because God is still good!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from The Batten Family!
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