Holy Cow

If I had no filter I would just release all the words I'm thinking and feeling all over this blog page. So in my attempt to move away from the emotions and enter back into normalcy, I must now scream via blog.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, I'm good now.


Are you sure you really want to follow my blog? Haha.

Private Bloggin'

Due to my current circumstances I thought it best to block my blog from certain folks who don't need to view the struggles and joys of my every day life right now. I'm sure after things settle I will change it back to public again.

Thanks to all of you for giving me your email addresses. I know that each of you have messaged or emailed me with your concerns and assurance of prayer covering. I'm so grateful for you!

A Good Day

After the kids and I ran errands and cleaned the garage today we hung out at Megan's. I love going there because the kids jump on the trampoline, watch movies and play and they don't argue (as much) and the environment is just so nice. Her friend was there with her four kids and they all got along really well! So it has been a good day, the first in a while.

And to top it off, Cole said this:

"Mommy, I'm not hungry for my toast because I need a nap."

I love my son.

It reminds me of when Kayley was three and she said:

"My little throat is hurting because I need a sucker."

Hurray for a good day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Regardless of the negatives in my life, I still have so much to be thankful for!

Here are a few (in no particular order):

My two awesome kids, a nice place to live, a super cute cell phone, a car to drive, food to eat, my parents, family, great old friends, fabulous new friends, brownies, the holiday season, health insurance (for the removal of my skin cancer!), my new church, my pants that fit loosely, my flip flops that I can wear year round, the beach where I often go to think, my comfy bed where my kids snuggle with me, my cute bike, my gym membership and my God who NEVER leaves me or forsakes me and who's love never fails even when man's love does.

I could go on and on.

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Here are a few more updates:

Yes, I will be talking about some of the things going on in my life so if you don't want to know, don't read my blog.

A family is moving in upstairs. It's just a mom, dad and a three month old baby. Thank goodness it's not a bunch of hooligans.

I met with the pastor's wife at Calvary yesterday. After our meeting she called me and said she has a friend who is a dentist and he's willing to pull my tooth for free! Yeah God! Yeah for not being in pain every single day anymore! My appointment is on Monday.

I don't know if I will make my blog private because I still want people to be able to read it without the hassle.

I weighed myself at the gym today and I've lost a total of 11 pounds bringing me to the exact weight I was when I found out I was pregnant with Kayley in 2003! Oh to be 18 again.

It's pretty amazing how my perspective changes when I think about what lies past all of the junk I'm going through. God has promised me some pretty amazing things and I know that He is faithful to complete what He started! God could do a pretty big restoration in my heart so I'm letting go to let God do his thing. And I'm a big control freak so this is a big deal for me! At least I admit it:)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, friends!

Free Will

God has given us free will. He lets us choose what we want to do with our lives. My heart is sad, angry and hurt but I know that my awesome and mighty Father still holds me in His hands.

Pray for my kids...they are so sad.

Pray for me...I have no words to explain how I feel.

After this post my blog will be private. If you still want to read it give me your email and I'll add you to the list.

Picture Time!

Ashley took these of our fam yesterday. I know I posted some on Facebook already but I wanted to post my favorites here.

Ten On Tuesday

1. In Kayley's class they earn star bucks for good behavior, helping out, etc. Today Kayley came home with a new toy. She had ten star bucks to spend and she came home with a new toy. It's Lightening McQueen and it's big. She might as well say "screw you, Cole. I know it's your favorite toy ever in the whole wild world but I don't care." Seriously, way to unintentionally open a giant can of worms Kayley!

2. The place above us has been empty for a long time but I still hear people banging around working in there. Seriously, is it THAT hard to rent out a place? Ridiculous.

3. I bought new pants on Sunday and they're a size smaller than what I normally buy.

4. I was praying with Kayley before nap today and after I was done she breathed a heavy sigh and said "finally!" I think I have bad breath.

5. Kayley's parent conference is this week or next. I'm excited to see how she has been doing in class.

6. Today we went to the Oxnard Beach Park. The kids call it the brown pirate park because it has two pirate ships and everything is brown. They had a great time and Cole said he got all his training exercises done. Whatever that means, Special Agent Oso.

7. We went to dinner at a friends' house last night. Cole was watching Lilo and Stitch and fell asleep in the middle of the floor. Since he hasn't been napping he crashes out in random places these days.

8. Kayley was almost tardy today for the first time ever.

9. I constantly feel like I have to throw up.

10. I love Kari Jobe. One of her songs say this:

"I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me, I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness."

Funny Kayley

Ok, so I said I wouldn't be blogging for a while. I lied.

Part of Mound was in the cafeteria for an assembly on Friday and they were on lockdown for an hour because of some armed robbers in the area. This has happened once already this school year. I wish people would stop trying to rob Vons and then take off in the direction of the elementary school. Kayley told me and Krista the songs she sang while they were inside. She sang a few and then said "and we sang one about a Mexican." Krista and I just about died! She couldn't tell me the words though. Maybe they ran out of things to sing about! Ha.

Kayley learned the word kapish (which is formally spelled capisce. I know, I totally looked it up. I'm a nerd.) Here's how our conversation went:

Kayley: "Hey mom, when I say kapish do you say it back?"

Me: "Sometimes. You say something like 'I'm going to go now, kapish?' and I say kapish back."

Kayley: "So it's like this "kapish?" "kapish" "kapish."

Me: Fully lost in why the heck we are discussing this, I laughed and told her she was funny.

And at bedtime she said: "Goodnight, I love you mom. Kapish?"

Me: Uncontrollable laughter.

None

There are no words to describe my life right now.

The one thing I'm certain of is that I refuse to let the enemy win.

I probably won't be blogging for a while.

Ten On Tuesday

1. I'm letting Kayley stay home today because she's so tired and weepy.

2. Cole is walking around with a binky in his mouth that Kayley had when she was a baby. He thinks it's the funniest thing ever!



3. I got a free phone for extending my contract with Sprint for another year. Sprint is amazing. They sent it in the mail yesterday and it'll get here today!

I really like it!

4. I'm not going to the ball anymore. Don't ask.

5. A couple of jobs I've applied for turned out to be bogus.

6. I haven't weighed myself since last week but I know for sure I've lost more weight!

7. I have officially lost my mind.The Bible says "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Yeah, that's me.

8. I saw Krista's house on Sunday and I really like it! The colors on the wall are really cool looking too!

9. Yesterday Cole said "hey mom, look! I'm playing the piano on my privates!"
Seriously? Why? Boys.

10. I want so bad to go east of here and visit my friends. Anyone got $200? Yeah, me either.

Not Me! Monday

It's Not Me! time! There are plenty of things I didn't do this week but these I managed to remember for my post!

While I was out by myself the other day I tried to pump gas but couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. It turns out I did not forget to pay first before I pumped. I thoroughly think things through all the time so there is no way that happened.

I did not let the kids stay up till 9:45 watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on a school night just so they would sleep in a little longer the next day. I would never do that. I always put my kids to bed on time so they will be well rested and ready for the next school day.

We were on our way to dinner with my grandpa and my son absolutely, definitely, did not said this: "Mom, when we go over the speed bumps my privates wiggle."

On my way home from Target in the car I was not bumping Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA. I'm clearly not a tween and therefore would never enjoy such teeny bopper music. And I'm not listening to it right now.

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As a side note, things are getting scary for baby Stellan. Please pray!

Little Tidbits of My Life

I found this on another blog and I thought I would give it a whirl.

I am thinking… I'm awake and shouldn't be. It's 6 on a Sunday and the kids are sleeping.

I am wearing… stuff I wear to bed.

I am remembering… when the kids were little and Coles' hair was long and wavy.

I am going… to church today. I'm excited to hear Pastor Robb speak on relationships.

I am reading… One Tuesday Morning. I've been reading it for the last five months! Ha!

I am hoping… for a job here pretty soon.

On my mind… why on earth has the darn government not sent me an unemployment check yet????

Noticing that… my stomach hurts from eating Cinnabon last night with Becca.

Pondering these words… God's love never fails. I had a chance to talk with Kayley yesterday about what failing means. I told her that man's love fails but God's never will.

From the kitchen… I could eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Around the house… I responded to a wanted ad on Craigslist for a mom with a one year old who needs toys. The kids and I went through all the toys and filled a whole bag with things they don't use anymore. And they were so happy that they were going to share with someone who needed them!

One of my favorite things... watching my kids play baby tiger together.

a photo I’d like to share… this is my favorite one of us.

Halloween

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SUPERGIRL!

I love the character Kayley took upon herself when dressed up. She really appeared to believe she could save the world and who am I to tell her she can't!


Private First Class Batten, reporting for duty!





Being a Marine is very serious business, as you can tell. There was no time for games. Or candy. Ok, some candy. Ok, a lot of candy!

Update

I have no computer right now since Barbie removed my hard drive and is trying to figure out what the deal is with it. So here's a quick update on life.

Cole was a Marine and Kayley was Supergirl for Halloween. They had so much fun at Trunk or Treat! They are getting older and it's so fun to watch them enjoy life!

I lost three pounds last week! I've been working really hard on eating right and excersizing!

Rachel set a date for her wedding! It's next year, October 9th. My goal is to lose twenty five pounds by then. We'll see.

Cole told me the other day that the cat on Bolt was mean because she didn't have Jesus in her heart. So true, so true.

I'm off to observe the child development center at Ventura College!

Don't ask me why there are no spaces between these and I don't have time to figure it out!